I am so attached to my cell. More than to my penis (oh..excuse my vulgar word. Tapi penis kan bahasa science.gapapa ya Mamah Dedeh.ya ya?). Yes..i am literally attached to my penis..but with my cell,it's different, i am soulfully attached to it. Bounded.
I imagine maybe sometimes i would do plastic surgery and replace my penis with my cell. I can imagine the picture of my self become the headline in local newspaper titled, "Lelaki dengan Kelamin yang Bisa GPRS"...atau "Kelamin Lelaki itu Harganya Turun 50 Ribu Minggu Ini di Roxy Cempaka Mas". I think i like it.
Then i make a list about why i think having a cell as my penis better than having the old one :
1. I can choose the type of "penis" i want. The big one like Communicator. Or the gemuk-pendek one like Nokia 6600. Or u can have the most gaul penis like BlackBerry. Me myself, I would choose Nexian Berry, because you know i cant afford the Black one. And with it, i could have a catchy headline in newspaper, "Lelaki dengan Kelamin Bundling.Murah.Cuma 100 ribu perbulan bisa Facebookan sepuasnya". Dan besoknya 500 orang ngantri di EX to get penis like mine.
2. I hate morning erection. It makes u feel dirty and pathetic at the same time. Why getting hard if u dont use it? With cell, i dont have to have morning erection every morning.
But Roid, a cell is a solid thing and it's hard. it is always hard. Oh crap. I forgot that fact. But hei..at least i can use it when it's hard, for sms-ing, phoning, and interneting. Or taking the picture of my self,maybe? i always want to see myself through my penis
3. I could sell my penis to Roxy or maybe toko hape encih sebelah. Kapan lagi dapet duit dari jual penis without being a man whore?
4. I could talk with my own penis. And it would answer, "kami akan teruskan keluhan Bapak ke bagian teknisi kami. Silahkan bawa hape Bapak ke mari". It would be fun seeing her face when i zipping off my pants to show her my "cell"
I just could write down 4 of them. I could continue with 100 lists but ofcourse, most of them are too dirty to be written here. So i just.....cliiiiiiiiiiiiing....
oh...crap...my penis died.It's the battery. Damn!! I forgot the fact that it need electricity. I should charge it now *berdiri bengong deket colokan sambil menunggu chargeran selesai*. Craaaappp. I want my old penis backkkkk!!!!
--ditulis ketika terbangun tengah malam dan shock melihat foto gw yang maen HP terus di FB--
paling pojok kiri
paling pojok kanan
note : judul autism bukan bermaksud menyinggung, i just cant find another word..maaf buat yang merasa tersinggung