Minggu, 24 Juli 2011

A (Stupid) Letter for My Blog

Dear my dearest blog,

I know it's weird to write a letter for your own blog because i will end up look like someone who tries so hard to be creative but fall into cheesy land (You know, like those advertising guys who try to make a breakthrough ad but they ended up making a man said "tori tori cheese cracker" repetitively). But i take that risk because i don't know how to express this "i miss you" feeling other than write this letter.

And I don't know why i write this letter in english while english is not even my foster-mother-who-used-to-be-the-husband-of-my-foster-mother-so-he-technically-was-my-foster-father-but-damn-those-Lady-Gaga-songs-so-one-day-he-decided-to-make-me-having-two-mothers language. But writing it in:
1. Gue-elo way makes me feel like taking the crown of queen galay (galau alay) from @aurelhermansyah.

2. Aku-kamu way makes me feel like taking the crown of queen lalay (lagu alay) from @ananghermansyah

3. Ich-dich way makes me feel like taking the crown of queen jablay (jerman barat alay) from @heidiklumhermansyah

I don't want to take someone's crown moreover if it's from Hermansyah clan. So i guess writing it in english is the best choice though if english had levelness like keripik mak icih did, mine would be level 1. But i know it's okay because you hate spicy food. And language will never be our barrier.

My dear blog, i know it has been so long since i told you my story. I'm sorry to come this late. How am i? Hmm...my life is kinda flat. But life only gives me this sandal swallow yang-alas-karetnya-udah-aus so it is hard for me to walk on my life though it's flat. When rain comes, i always fall down. You know, job and stuffs. Things i don't like. They say i should push my self to learn it. But though you push it, how can a chicken sing like singing birds? How can a Syahrini* sing like Aretha Franklin?

dear my blog, sampe sini gw capek bahasa inggris. Iya. Ngepet emang itu bahasa. Diperlukan dimana-mana tapi gw nggak bisa-bisa. Kenapa sih gw nggak lahir di Perancis aja?


"lah emang di Perancis bahasanya inggris, Id?"

"ya enggak sih. Maksudnya gw lahir di sana terus kursus bahasa inggris di LIA sono"

"Ooo gitu...yuk, teman-teman, kita tinggalkan blog ini"

terus gw juga nggak mood sedih-sedihan lagi kayak di atas, my blog. Mood gw datar aja hari ini. Pasti kamu heran dech kenapa moodku bisa ganti cepat banget. Ya nggak usah heran sih. Soalnya aku udah nulis artikel surat-menyurat ini 2 bulan lamanya. Selama 2 bulan, aku bingung mau nulis apa lagi untuk ngelanjutin soal Syahrini di atas. Emang Syahrini ini selain bisa menyumbat mata pencaharian pedagang tas Manohara (karena konsumen beralih mencari tas Syahrini), juga mampu menyumbat kreativitas insan Illahi.


Sangkin datarnya mood gw hari ini, gw bahkan bakal menyampaikan satu berita besar ke kamu secara datar, my blog. Biasanya kan gw drama. Jadi sekarang kamu bayangkan aja kita berdua lagi di kantin makan mie ayam. Terus gw ngomong, "enak nih mie ayam di sini, My blog". Then you replied,"Iya. seumur hidupku aku belum pernah makan mie ayam". Terus gw ngomong lagi, "eh, tolong ambilin sambelnya dong my blog. Gw mutasi ke Jayapura lagi lho. Aduh. Gw makan sambel padahal lagi ambeyen".


Memberikan kabar kalo gw dimutasi ke Jayapura sambil minta diambilkan sambel. Sedatar itulah perasaan gw sekarang. Ya itu karena gw udah 2 minggu di sini sih, my blog. Jadi nggak se-shock waktu hari pertama. Ya masih sering nangis sih sambil memeluk brosur Inul Vista kalo malem. Tapi nggak sesering dulu. Bahkan gw nggak nangis lagi kalo liat spanduk, "Dirgahayu Distrik Depapre yang ke-XXI"! Pokoknya sekarang udah mulai terima keadaan lah.


Pokoknya banyak yang terjadi selama aku tidak pernah mencampurimu lagi, My blog. Banyaaak sekali. Yang so-called Roiders makin akrab di dunia maya dan dunia nyatalah, yang kita tahun baruan bareng, terus ke dufan bareng, lanjut lagi nginep di bandung bareng-bareng, terus gw travelling ke Bromo, terus Dorce nambahin namanya jadi Dorce Ketjepet Gamalama, terus Vidi Aldiano biji kirinya meledak, pokoknya banyaaaaak, My blog. And i will try to tell you all those stories letter, ya.



Hoahmm...(Penutup surat. Sok-sok ngantuk ala surat-menyurat ke sahabat pena zaman SD)...udah ngantuk nih, my blog. (Habis ini sok-sok capek nulis). Pegel juga ya nulis surat ini. (Terus izin tidur) Aku tidur dulu ya. (Ditutup dengan pantun). Empat kali empat sama dengan enam belas........oh shit. I'm not doing this again. Bubar...bubar!!



*Syahrini : thing that's saluted with white powder and fake-jewelleries-beli-di-Naughty. Alhamdulillah ya...hateable. So you don't need effort to hate it.